Amita Schmidt

Buddhist and Non-Dual Meditation Teacher

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Ancient Hawaiian Spirituality and Internal Family Systems Therapy

 

As part of his ancient Hawaiian spiritual training, Kahu (priest) Abraham Kawai’i taught about the internal family to his students in Hawaii in the 1960’s. This internal family understanding had been passed down from his elders, and his elder’s elders. This ancient Hawaiian spiritual teaching on internal family systems, is a reminder of the timeless power and interconnection of IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy). Although Kahu might have different approaches with these ideas, we are all one family in bringing these truths and understandings to the world. The understanding of internal family crosses centuries, nationalities, and cultures. Bless us all, and thank you to Dick Schwartz and Kahu Kawai’i for this timeless work we are all doing together. The following is Abraham Kawai’i’s ancient offerings on understanding and adjusting the internal family as a way to freedom:

Internal family as the true source of our spiritual power

  • Family, your internal family, is the source of your spiritual and emotional power. It is where your mana (spiritual power) is generated and expressed from. You adjust the members of your family so you stand powerful in your place at the center of your universe.
  • You will never be alone—there is always a member of the family there.
  • Family is the internal universe of You, and it is where your wealth lies and your spirit resides… Refine it with compassion and your life will become a living prayer.
  • This work is to find the dignity of the universe of Yourself. It is also about bringing those who want it to a place of dignity and joy within themselves.

Components of the internal family

  • Family is everything that you are. What are you? Who are you? You are every thought, emotion, idea, longing. Family is everything in your existence. Everything you touch, everything you hear and speak, everything you walk to, come from, or stand upon, every moment of your life.
  • You need to be aware of your space of existence all the time. What is your space of existence? Your space of existence is everything you see, hear, smell, touch or feel. Everything you walk to, come from, or stand upon. Every longing, every thought, and every desire; everything you speak, every part of your body, every cell, every hair, every movement, every moment of your life. If you are aware of your space of existence and claim responsibility for it, you are at the center of your power. There is nothing you cannot achieve, in this existence or any other.
  • Everything you feel and everything that is here is a member of your family. In your mind if you are angry, that is a member of your family. If you are sad, that is a member of your family. Grief or anger can only be an obstacle when you don’t recognize it as a family member.
  • Fear is a child of yours. The pathway through fear is the pathway to being One with oneself.

How to adjust your internal family

  • In a loving and unassuming way, understand yourself totally and completely. Approach your family members with dignity. To build and manifest the depth of yourself, you need to adjust yourself in a way that affects your internal family.
  • Family is always there to support you and move you forward. A family member is never an obstacle.
  • All members of your family need to be given time to express themselves. You might express anger, or fear for a moment or two, and anger or fear will be satisfied. They are never an obstacle in your life. The good, the bad and the ugly are all family. Members of your family are a gift to yourself, one that when not judged or labeled will contribute to the quality and the harmony of your existence.
  • The members of your internal family are never a burden to be crushed or eradicated. The members of your family are to be cherished and given a task to do, so you will find wholeness and completeness on your path in this life.

The effect of this work with biological family and loved ones

  • If one member of the family makes a great step and changes, the whole family changes as well. If you make a quantum leap in your consciousness, you become the tip of the spear and the family gets the ride too.

 

Mahalo to Jody Mountain for her teachings of Abraham Kawai’i and Tamara-Hrehorczak-Stephens for her book “Abraham Kawai’i: A brief history of the man, the kahuna, and kahuna bodywork” (2012) the source of many of the quotations above.

 

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Waiting for the tsunami

“What are you going to do with your one precious life?”

Rapture, peace, prayer;

or confusion, anger, fear?

Waiting for the tsunami

happens where I live every year.

The earthquake on the other side of the world,

and thousands of miles away

we evacuate for the mountains,

not sure if the harbors, airport, and power station will be left in the morning.

People wait for a long eight hours until the wave comes,

not knowing will it be big or small?

Will it wipe out my home or not?

The way people wait is it’s own education,

in the inevitable.

Some empty the stores of liquor and cigarettes for tailgate parties.

Others listen compulsively to the radio, fear mounting as they prepare supplies for some unknown number of days to live on.

Others chose to pray and meditate and say “I love you.”

No way is the right way.

All God.

Everyone chooses their last moment of grace,

from the bottle, the news, or their one true religion.

I love the differences and have my preference.

“God I offer myself to thee,”

will be my one true offering,

as the water claims her rightful place at the center of things.

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The Chaos Virus

unnamedThe chaos virus is something that takes over individuals, a community, a country, the world. The chaos virus begins when we merge with defensiveness, greed, hatred, and fear.  It becomes a time of division, survival, overwhelm, anger, and not knowing what is true or not true.  It is fueled by the “self” and the illusion of separation. We have forgotten the Whole. We have forgotten interconnection.

You must prepare to be resilient and not get lost in anxiety, confusion, or fear.   In times of chaos it’s about the “how” equally as the “what.”  How do I conduct myself?  You must give life your all even if there are no hope of results.  In chaos there might be no results.  You only have the “how.”  Find your source of true courage and self-lessness.

During this time of chaos, you must also prepare to be spiritually aware, emotionally strong, and grounded in a power greater than yourself.  This power could be love, God, the force of the universe, or some consciousness greater than yourself (scientists are now able to measure consciousness, and they know that it is a continuum and that humans might only be somewhere in range of that continuum). It is a greatly challenging time where we cannot merge with our own personal suffering.   There is something more important, and it is the Whole.  It is the Source.

If the chaos virus goes viral here are some things to remember:

1) Be aware of the chaos virus.  Commit not to get lost in it or come under it’s spell.

2) Ground into your being, and connect fiercely to the deepest version of love that you know.  Hold fast to love.  No matter the storms of hate, or fear, or confusion.  Do not be swayed from the force of love as you know it, in the center of your being.  Love is all you are.  It will bring you back home.  It is all you ever do and are.  Do not be confused by anything else.  You are not pleasure or pain, success or loss, praise or blame.  You are love.  Please trust in this, even if you can’t feel it yet.

12592338_1081727765200263_1431145295415637829_n3) Call constantly upon the wisdom of nature, animals, the sun/moon/stars, the ancient ones/ancestors, chants, ceremonies, spirituality.

4) Do not merge with your thoughts or technology. Use your thoughts and technology as tools only. Your thoughts are not the essence of life. Technology, VR, internet are not reality.  Put down your thoughts. Call upon the Great spirits.  Call upon the Whole.  Call upon your ancestors.

5) Do things that connect, connect, connect.  Music, art, service, family, friends, community, food, gatherings, animals, children, hugs, nature, play. Connection is the doorway to wholeness and away from the disease of self.

6) Cultivate the “we” verses the “I.”  Creating an illusion of a separate self, and then serving this illusion, is part of the virus of chaos.   Develop an awareness of “I.”  Know when you are lost in “I, me and mine” thinking. Move from “I” sight to “We” sight. Start thinking about your life as part of the well-being of all.

stevemccurry7) Become a living prayer.  Make your mind, body, and spirit a constant prayer for all beings.  This is the way to break the illusion of self. Think in terms of the whole world.  Dedicate every thought, every action, every emotion to the well-being of all.

8) Practice deep meditation.  Do retreats.  Dig deep. Soul search.  Know what is most important, no matter what.

9) Stay sober.  Clean up your life.  Stay away from addictions: alcohol, drugs, overeating, internet, consumerism, gambling, workaholism, pornography, gaming, and thought addictions.  You will need a heart that is clean and clear. As things get more chaotic you will see more people getting lost in addictions. Be the person that lights the way rather someone who is lost in the pain.

10) Develop empathy, compassion, kindness, love.  Keep increasing your capacity for these emotions, even as times get difficult.  Do not succumb to the prevailing attitudes of others. Do not be afraid of your own suffering.  Let it fuel for an even more loving heart in yourself.

11) Zen master Bankei’s advice from centuries ago is useful for the chaos virus now:  “Do not sell your unborn nature to fear.”  “See into others’ hearts with your birthless eyes and to sense what is binding them.”  Rest in the Heart.img_0031

 

 

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Return to the Feminine

A few years ago Molokai Kapuna Alexander Pua’a offered this wisdom to me:

“Each of us has a bowl full of light.  We fill this bowl with stones which are the masculine.  We have covered the bowl of our feminine with stones.  There is too much male energy.  We need to return to the feminine and intuitive energy.  Things heal through the feminine.”

How do we do return to the feminine as Kapuna Pua’a suggests?  Both men and women can do this.  Here are some daily practices I have found helpful:

  • Slow down.  There is a Cherokee saying, “As the world speeds up, slow down. The faster things go, the slower you go.” It is through the masculine quality of quickness/speed that we are getting flooded with anxiety, fear, overwhelm, and over-consuming.  Slow your pace down. The feminine is timeless.
  • Acknowledge the Earth.  Each day recognize the ‘aina or Mother Earth, and with a sincere heart say, “I’m sorry” and “I love you.”  In Hawaii this is the practice of ho’oponopono or making things right.  The earth is our very essence and when we honor Mother Earth we honor ourselves.
  • Speak less, connect more.  Mothers regulate their babies through attunement. Attunement is connection through the eyes, the skin, and the heart rate.  Even as adults, whenever we are at arms length from someone our heartbeat attunes to the other person. Get arms length in real time.  Look into someone’s eyes. Touch them. Speak less. Love more.
  • Focused love.  Each day do some silent meditation, prayerful movement, chanting, or focused practice to remember a power greater than yourself.  If you get quiet, you can call upon a much clearer wisdom than your own thinking.
  • Connection through service.  Give loving service to children, elders, your community, animals, ecology, spirituality and the arts. The feminine connects through kindness, healing, creativity, inclusion and love.
Artwork: “Hatching the Universal” by Judy Chicago

 

 

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The Love Sign

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Today was an usual day.  It began at 6am creating a “Love” sign to take with me to public places as part of a new lovingkindness practice.

I figured why not put meditation into action? So for today I held a Love Sign in public places.  Why “Love?” Well, it doesn’t require anything of the seer, it can be a noun or a verb, and more importantly it’s something that’s good for me to practice.

Throughout the day I sat in three different places: La Perouse Bay Nature Reserve, on a bench in front of the local swimming pool, and at the Maui Mall shopping plaza. Within minutes of holding the Love Sign it received lots of smiles and happy eyes.  Also, a local young dad flashed me a shaka, a tattooed girl blaring music and angrily shouting stopped to smile, a very old woman gave me $5, and another woman gave me candy. Additionally, I made friends with a homeless (x16 years) Gulf war combat veteran, Dann, who was picking up cans for recycling.  In our conversation he was sane, sober, and truly wise.  I asked Dann, “If you had a sign to hold, what would it be?”  He thought for awhile and then said “Respect.” He explained that as a homeless person he is judged by others, and people don’t take the time to see or respect him for who he is. If I hadn’t been holding the Love Sign, I too would have been one of those people who judged him and didn’t take the time to see him.

The best thing about holding the Love Sign is it forces me to embody love. It’s impossible to judge others when I am holding the Love Sign, and impossible to be sad or angry.  Good practice I figure.  Plus it’s always humbling to sit in public holding a sign.

Last but not least, when I stopped holding the Love Sign I felt I was still holding it in my heart.  And when I imagine I am always holding the Love Sign it has wonderful effects.  Everyone becomes family.