In healthy family systems the parents are the “master regulators” of connection. Parents work to help children regulate difficult emotions and feel safe and connected.In families where the parent or parents do not act as “master regulators,” kids experience either blending or disconnecting from their needs and emotions.
As an adult when we have a difficult emotion like depression or anxiety, if we didn’t have parents who were master regulators, and thereby didn’t develop our own internal master regulator, we either get lost in/blend with the anxiety or disconnect/push away it. And of course we can do a combination of both at different times in different situations.